a void

Dear Blog,

Hmmmm...come to think of it, looking at "the Son of Man" sorta gives me the creeps. He's just standing there, sorta peeping at you from behind the green apple. I should add another entry just to push that entry downwards, lol.

So, both case write-ups are done. Thank you so much Fatin and Assila for contributing alot. I'm so sorry I didn't help much...I'm such a lazy ass student. Anyway, all I have to do now is print it out, bind it, and submit by next Thursday...I hope Dr. Rahana's comment this time would be "good job!" (that is, very unlikely though lol)

She wants to meet up with us to discuss a bit about the partograms we submitted a week ago. She wasn't satisfied with how we did our reports. She even asked us, "you all ni paham ke tak partogram?"....errr...duh~. We told her we just didn't know what to explain, how to explain and...well...mostly not knowing what to explain I guess.

O&G posting's almost over. I'm kinda sad. I like this posting very, very much. Even though it's damn busy, I enjoy being on the go. I love how my time is always occupied with something to do at the ward, the clinic or at the labour room. I hate being idle. Being idle makes me...umm...idle-er.

The downside to that is, like I said before, I become ignorant to the whole world. I don't take note of my surroundings and whatever it is that's going on in this world, I become anti-social, I often don't reply text messages from people and messages at YM, I usually become too tired to even go out with friends and I often eat more now (damn!).

My life revolves around the hospital and the only thing I cherish outside the hospital is....my BED.

Is that what it's gonna be like in the future? Am I to be this ignorant, workaholic doctor who disregards everything else? Even her own family? Her friends?

Isn't that ridiculous?

But I do enjoy it. And for now, that's all that matters. It's thrilling, it's challenging and it keeps me going. I like it.

I uhhh...pushed him away.

He asked me out a couple of times since we went out and I pushed him away. He says he doesn't mind, but for how long? Can he stand my inconsistency? Will he be able to understand how much I enjoy being busy? Does he know how much I take pleasure in being independent and just having time for myself? I don't think he understands.

Kesian dia. Farah, you're such an idiot. He's so nice and you treat him badly. You complained last time about you know what, and now, there's someone there for you, and you PUSH him away?? You will die an old spinster, and everyone around you will be happily married with 5 children. All you will have...is cats. 5 old spinster cats that you dah sunat, just to ensure their fates are like yours. The difference is, they'll prolly die sooner than you do, and you'll still remain alone.

.spin me back, l e n a.