Thursday, December 31, 2009

not happy

Dear Blog,

It's almost the end of my 2nd week.

AND!!

I've only clerked ONE patient. and NO physical examination.

What the heck?? Compared to O&G, I clerked patients everyday and did PE almost everyday.

Farah, you'd better catch up quick, or you'll DIE next week...DIE I tell ya, DIE!!!

.floating into la-la-blur-as-hell land, l e n a.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Happy Birthday Dude!

Dear Blog,

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Anonymous


I'd like to wish my dear friend Anip a very Happy 21st Birthday!!



Also, congratulations on being an uncle to a niece with the same birthdate, born today - 28th December 2009. May she be blessed with her uncle's great personality and good looks, haha.

No matter what you say, I'ma treat you to either Sushi or Bubba Gump this week. I won't take NO for an answer =)

.our bus ride,l e n a.

just...things i hate about you

Dear Blog,

-I hate seeing your S faces.
Ever wondered why I'm coped up in my room?
Well, that's the only reason.

-I hate it when you don't respect my things and my privacy.

-I hate it when you guys talk so loud, it's like a friggin' earthquake out there.

-I hate it how awkward it gets when I'm around.

-I hate how sick and tired I am of plastic smiles, mine and yours

-I hate that you can gang up on me, and I feel like an outsider.
It's partly true, I do feel out of place here.

and lastly,

-I hate how lonely I feel here at this stupid University.

.l e n a.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

trenchie for a wenchie

Dear Blog, (note: i'm not a wench okay. it just rhymes with trench)

Yay!!! Leanna's safely in London now with her friends, Alhamdulillah.

A Christmas trip! Awesome. A white christmas at that (not in a prejudice kind of way, of course)

She just called. She bought my beige trench coat already!! Wahooo!! Friggin 70% off I heard.

And and and....it's from Zara!!! This is roughly how it looks like, only imagine it in beige and with wraps. Oh La La! Me loike! hehehe


Oh, and she said she's gonna buy me an "I love London" black tee, Jenna's in green and Ritz is gonna get a London hoodie. Merci sister-O. Love you...muahx muahx! hehe

Miss you already =)

.trench, wench, french, stench, bench. l e n a.

not ashamed...well, maybe just a bit

Dear Blog,

Yeah. Had to do that AGM event thing on Facebook coz both Fatin and I are Publicity Excos.

I mean, I know I'm not one of 'em most likeable people around (especially here in the UKM medical faculty)...and I'm pretty sure most of you won't respond to the event invitation...

So, before you click that "ignore" button...PLEASE consider all the tears and sweat that's been secreted from those who have worked so hard to produce this annual meeting, a meeting that has been going on per annum since way back when.

It's the 35th AGM, btw.

We've done all we can to spread the word (print out posters, gonna make a banner, create a FB invitation)...now all we need are the attendees.

Have a heart. God knows how I tebalkan my muka to create that AGM event and to actually invite colleagues which of whom I know and those I barely even know...yikes.

Therefore, click "yes" if you will =)

.come one, come all.l e n a.

p/s: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

Monday, December 21, 2009

familiarity

Dear Blog,

Yep, Surgery posting now. Totally different compared to O&G. Felt a bit lost though, but then again...I always feel lost during the first 2 weeks of any posting.

What a coincidence, though...I saw alotta familiar faces there in the surgical wards, one of which I was really startled to see.

One. Saw the senior yang terer menari zapin for KTDI's annual dinner. I remember her coz she asked me to write down the Yuna song guitar chords for her coz she wanted to play it too.

Two. I recognized the senior I terserempak on the way to the ward months ago. I didn't know who she was at the time, but since she called me by my name...I guess...I do know her?

Three. The face that I was startled to see...was...none other than...Dr. Che a.k.a. Dr. Nana. What in the world is she doing at the Surgery wards? She's an O&G registrar. A friend of mine approached her - she was her student during our time in O&G. Dr. Nana is actually doing electives there at the surgical wards....?? I don't know. I'm not a registrar, who knows what they're supposed to do and stuff. I'm just a silly little student, who is in fact an ignorant one.

Well, that's it for today...my first day in Surgery. Owh...here's a shocker....

My supervisor is Mr. Shahrun. Rumour has it that he's so very garang!! (Not another one. Dr. Rahana was garang too. People, give me a break already *rolling eyes*)

I thought my time in Surgery would be a relaxing one. Turns out, God is forbidding me to have my time off. Owh well, I'm sure He has His reasons.

.Mr. Shahrun...gimme your best shot! l e n a.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

fueled by "desperately wanting to watch you guys perform!"

Dear Blog,

Nooo. This can't be happening!! Paramore?? How could you??

Malaysia's like...BIGGER than Singapore on the map...and you go on a tour there??

Don't matter. I'ma go watch you guys there no matter what!!! I have to see you guys perform!! You guys can't do this to meeee!!

So far, I have no concert buddy to bring with. Leanna's like on the other side of the planet, so scratch her off the list (hahaha..err, nothing personal yeah? hehe).

H said he wants to go. Shall I go with him? Shall we make it a one night trip?

7th March 2010.

That's the date. That's when I need to go.

What the heck? It's like..so perfect! My finals end on the 5th of March 2010!! I am sooo THERE! I just...need money, and a plan. How do I get there? Where do I stay afterwards??

Hmmm...any ideas people? I've never been to a concert before, let alone a concert OUTSIDE Malaysia. Should I go? The expenditure will definitely be off the charts~ But, occasions like these are what I've been saving my scholarship money for... hehe.

.help, HELP! l e n a.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

blue running in red

Dear Blog, (warning: long blog up ahead. it's about my family, so it's totally fine if you don't wanna read it)


Do you know how blessed I feel? To be able to acknowledge your ancestors and to be acquainted with both close and distant relatives?

2 days ago, my family and I were invited by Uncle Wan Ega to attend a family hi-tea at De Palma Hotel, Shah Alam. I thought it was some kinda small family gathering or party...or whatever. Then I heard from Mommy that our Johor relatives were attending too. It seemed like a big deal. So, after my futsal tournament I rushed straight home, got ready and we were on our way.

On the way to the hotel, Mommy and Uncle E answered some questions that were asked by...well, Jenna, Ritz and me. The questions that came to mind were:

"What's going on??"

"What family gathering is this??"

"Do we have to go??"

...Yes, we had to go.

They answered our questions of course. We were told that it was a family gathering, a small assembly of Y.M. Al-Marhum Engku Ibrahim Ibni Engku Idris Paduka Tuan's descendants.

"Engku who?"

Turns out, they didn't know too. So, we had to wait and see what all this fuss was about.


Upon arrival, we were greeted by the usual familiar faces, Tok Tun, Aunty Wan Melissa and Aunty Wan Shahirah. Not to mention our Johor relatives and Aunty Oki was waving at us from inside the ballroom hall. Other than that, there were also many UNfamiliar faces. We had to register outside at the registration counter for attendance purposes and was approached to buy a few books - books about our "ancestors", researched by Tun Suzana Tun Othman - another one of our distant relatives and author of Ahlul Bait Rasulullah SAW and Kesultanan Melayu.

We bought the book Ahlul Bait Rasulullah SAW because Tok Tun said that our ancestors' names are in there. Mommy approached Tun Suzana Tun Othman for an autograph and a picture was taken at the end of the function.

Behind the registration counter was a full list of names, arranged in a flowchart pattern. I took a picture and I made a more...errr...colourful one. I only included the ones that had close relations to my immediate family because if I were to include EVERYONE...it would never fit, trust me. So, I'm sorry if you're spose to be in it but I didn't include you.






The day went on and it got more and more interesting. We were introduced to the big family, here and there, they're everywhere - most of which begin with the title "Wan". (The title ended for my family unfortunately after Tok Mum married Tok Wan, coz he doesn't own a title hehe. But we love him still no matter what!) Most of them were given names similar to some of our ancestors and were pretty much repetitive through-out the generations (names such as Wan Mariam, Wan Fatimah, Wan Ibrahim, etc.).

This family gathering was organized by the Persatuan Waris Temenggong Muar (PEWARIS), an organization dedicated to mengeratkan silaturrahim antara all the pewaris.

For more info, you can visit their official website by clicking here

I don't really know the family ties, but I guess it's stated there at the website. We're just a lil too far down the line to even know where we actually come from. But it's nice to know that this family originates from a well-respected line of people.


Tok Mum and Mak Lang did tell me a few stories about Y.M. Wan Mohamad (Tok Jantan @ Mommy's grandfather).

(I am willing to share this story if you are willing to read)

They told me that when he was still alive, they noticed that the people of Segamat referred to him as "Engku" and the people acknowledged themselves as "patik" in respect when speaking to him. That only applies to those who know of his background unfortunately.

Tok Jantan's father or Tok Mum's grandfather - Y.M. Engku Ibrahim @ Wan Hitam was a brave warrior during the Muar power grab. However, he was finally caught and imprisoned. Stories that were told stated that prior to his capture, he had heard music - a very strange, voo-doo-ish tune that was recognized to be of Thai origin. He then felt weak and wasn't able to control his actions and therefore surrendered. He was the first in this family line to call himself a "Wan", a title that was given to himself after being shamefully imprisoned, even with a royal background. No one knows what happened to him ever since - how he died, where he was buried, etc.

Therefore, starting from Wan Hitam (Tok Mum's grandfather), our families began passing the title "Wan" for generations and generations when they should've been called "Engku" instead. That title isn't possible to be carried by our family however, for the current royal descendants of Johor are in no relation to us whatsoever.

During the Japanese invasion, Tok Mum was forced to marry one of her distant cousins - Wan Abdul Aziz. This was to avoid unnecessary affairs with the Japanese forces. After that, they divorced because Tok Mum thought it wasn't necessary anymore as soon as the invasion ended. The decision made had disappointed some of her other relatives, though they couldn't do anything about it already.Years later, she worked at an office for the government and she had met with Ariffin bin Asha'ari - Tok Wan. They fell in love of course, and got married =)

Since she married a man with no title, her children were to be called Megat (boys) or Puteri (girls). But she decided against it thinking that the family line is history. So from then on, the descendants of Y.M. Engku Ibrahim on my family's side lived like normal human beings. (So....I could've been Puteri Farah Lyna Darwin?? Eeeee, tak sedap langsung).

.a happily ever after ending, l e n a.

p/s: now do you believe it Anwar and Sarah?? I believe, I believe. Got the family-tree scrolls to prove it.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

wth?

Dear Blog,

Great. I can't sleep.

Kept thinking about the stupid futsal tournament yesterday.

It was sooooo hilarious, I forgot to laugh.

I think I ended up playing all the positions. I dunno what happened to my teammates. I don't understand why they didn't go for the ball. I mean, yeah, I know its hard. But it looked like they didn't do their best. It was like they weren't even trying.

They just watched the opponents run to the goal.

They just watched the ball roll right past them.

I was already pancit during the 2nd half coz I used up all my energy to run all over the stupid turf. Sheeeshh.

I'm sorry if I sound mean right now, but that's just how I feel. I gotta let it out so I can play better tomorrow and not hold any grudges.

My teammates are all really nice people. It's very sporting of them to even join when they should be at home with their families coz our 1-week holiday just started. But, I just can't see this happening in a team that I'm in. Sakit mata. I have to re-arrange the positions and make-up a different strategy tomorrow. We'll be up against our 4th year seniors. I've seen how they play, and I've seen how my team played.

95% possession would definitely be theirs. That means, our defense must be tight. Since I volunteered to be da goalkeeper tomorrow, I want at least one defender to stay behind. I also want both defenders to mark Kak Osya and Kak Sa each. Both of em have pretty wicked skills with the ball, that's dangerous on my part. If our defense is good, I might be able to stop the ball from getting in, if they shoot from a far distance. Again, defense must be tight.

I have a feeling my team attackers won't be getting the ball often, so...I should bring them down, at least as far as midfield.

As for UCSI, I don't really know how they play. But I definitely wanna play striker again for that game.

If we can't score, at least we'll try for a draw. Losing is no option this time.

.think Farah, THINK! l e n a.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

shower my flower..err, that don't sound right

Dear Blog,

I'm stoked! Wahooo!

The office hired men to install a new spray-thingy at our toilet to wash our...you know what, hehe

and a new and CLEAN (no karat, no fungi) showerhead.

Yaay! hahaha

.it makes no difference actually, saje je hehe. l e n a.

an end always brings a new beginning

Dear Blog,




The lecture hall that was made in tribute to one of the legendary O&G docs that ever lived... Emeritus Professor Puan Sri Datin Dr. Nafisah Adeeb. I am honoured to have been through this posting and to have seen her in action. She is AWESOMEE!!



The two wards I rarely go to, Yellow and Green. hehe



Getting ready to go into the operation theater. Scrub up ladies!


Getting ready to meet with our beloved, yet garang Supervisor, Dr. Rahana.


Our last goodbyes with Dr. Rahana, our "mother" in O&G posting. =) You will be missed!
We all shared money to buy her a planner, an award and a card as a token of appreciation for all the things she's done for us.

Had alotta fun this posting. Hope Surgery will be as good. Left alotta sweat and blood during my time at O&G, I'd like to think it was all worth it. =)

.The End...l e n a.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

ups and downs

Dear Blog,

What a mistake to watch UP considering the circumstances that we're in.

Both Carl and Ellie remind me so much of Tok Wan and Tok Mum. So cute and sweet. How much they love each other and how they make each other happy.

Couldn't stop crying when I was watching it (my family would know that I'm always the one that cries when watching cartoons..LOL).

Anyway, good movie! So sweet and funny. I love it! Never a moment of boredom. 4.5/5 =)


.they are soulmates, l e n a.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

what happens when you let go?

Dear Blog,


I tried...and you left me hanging.

Monday, December 7, 2009

come morning


Dear Blog,

It's been a while, hasn't it? Guess I should write an entry today. The mood isn't there yet, but hopefully it'll kick in sooner or later.

Since that certain someone dislikes me writing about medical things, I shall refrain myself from doing so...just this once at least.



.4 days ago... her 83rd birthday.


Jenna and I were both absent of course, since we were still at our respective colleges. We were told to come friday night for the birthday party. The family back at home celebrated the night by having KFC for dinner, plus, Uncle Sani came all the way from Canada too. So, of course, what a celebration it was to be reunited again with his mother.


.3 days ago... her official 83rd birthday party.



I received a text message from Mommy-O saying I should come over for the party. Of course I will. So I rushed back to KTDI from my Karaoke date with my friends and packed so quickly and so very not neatly, it was as though I was gonna miss my flight. I called Jenna and asked whether I should leave early and go through the traffic jam or wait until the peak hour's over then leave for Subang. She told me to just go right then. OK. So I did. And, the jam wasn't that bad for I arrived only a few minutes after 9pm and...not to mention, was startled to see Uncle Sani at the dining room.

I greeted everyone, especially the Queen Mother herself, the birthday girl. I asked Jenna where the rest of the family was (I was told that they invited other relatives for this very occasion, but none were present. It was rather disappointing and...heartbreaking) and she replied...dunno. Nvm, the people who came were the ones that mattered anyhow. Mak Sue did a great job with her balloons and decorations whilst Mommy was of course the one who prepared the meals. The night was adorable. Queen Mother looked so happy, it was nice to see her that way coz ever since her admission to PPUM the other day, she did not smile much. This time, I think Uncle Sani played a very important role in making her smile wide. For that, thank you so much for coming Uncle Sani. You have no idea how much it meant to Tok Mum.


.2 days ago, it was hard to breathe.



The next morning. Arrived Toks' place in the wee hours of the morning, we did the usual, greeted both grandparents in their bedroom, asked how they were. Initially, Tok Mum looked fine, just a lil tired from the lack of sleep she's been having for weeks already. Mommy and Jenna were to get Beyonce's refund check that morning so before they left, they went to the bedroom again to say goodbye. I was on the divan in front of the TV when all of a sudden Jenna came and told me to see Tok Mum for a second. I was like...that didn't sound good. My heart was beating so fast as I came in the bedroom.

There, I see her lying on the bed barely able to breathe normally. Both Jenna and I noted the accessory muscles being used, which indicates she needs to use alot of force to actually breathe. We also noted her wheezing, which was weird bcoz she has no asthma. We told her to change her position to a sitting position. She told us she felt better. What came to both our minds next was orthopnoea (difficulty in breathing while lying down). We came to a conclusion that this was definitely the heart. We had no stethoscope with us, so we couldn't really check her condition. We asked her if it was ok if we wanted to bring her to PPUM. I could tell she didn't want to, but she didn't refuse.

Tok Wan, Uncle E, Uncle Sani and Ritz went to send Tok Mum, while Mommy, Jenna and I went to get the refund and zoom off to the hospital. Ritz called, otw, and told us that Tok Mum couldn't stand it. So we went to Sime Darby Medical Centre instead. There, even with it's hefty cost, you'll know she'll be getting a 5-star treatment. She was stabilized at the Emergency department and was sent to the Coronary Care Unit (CCU) at around 10.45am. We visited her after waiting and eating breakfast at the mamak stall.

Relatives came and visited. It was nice of them to. News travels fast these days. Amazing how technology works, y'knw? It's painful to realize that this happened right after her birthday. =(

Alhamdulillah, Tok Mum's stable now. She's been transferred in the ward yesterday, which means she is stable enough and not requiring close monitoring. We visited her everyday since her admission. I can see progress in her. She is such a strong woman, and I'm very grateful to God for not letting her go this time. She can make jokes and smiled a lot yesterday. She still has to sleep propped up, coz she has water in her lungs and a weak heart. But, Alhamdulillah I hope everything's OK. Will be visiting her after this.



.she's the queen of our hearts, l e n a.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

time to wake up


Dear Blog,


I miss listening to music.


Ever since I entered O&G, I realized that I shut myself out from the world too often.

It's wrong, dead wrong.
I just listened to Paramore's Misguided Ghosts (the one that Leanna sent me ages ago and only now do I listen to it), and it was soothing.

I miss the old me.

The one that cracks up stupid jokes, the one that makes people laugh back at home, the one that listens to music 24/7 and loves to play guitar and draw comics..and most importantly, the one that puts family first.

O&G will be the death of me.

This posting's almost over, and only now do I realize that.

It was fun while it lasted, but I don't think I'll be placing this specialty as top 3 for now, thank you.
.truth hurts, reality bites. so, let's live in a virtual lie. l e n a.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

that's it


Dear Blog,

Arggghhh!!!

I dislike lame-ass jokes. It annoys me so badly, I have no mood to continue with the conversation. Period.

.no one's perfect, yes, I know. l e n a.