Thursday, May 31, 2012

that chance encounter

Dear Blog,



I've always imagined myself meeting a guy at a coffee shop. Both he and I have had always been to the same place but never really noticed each other until one day, he approaches me and says hello. The thing that triggered his interest would be the book I was reading, nothing specific...just a book he had read years ago and I happened to stumble upon it then.

Romantic, no? Well, prolly not really romantic but not even a Malay guy can pull this off. Why? Because they've got egos the size of Mount Everest, and they've got guts (or nuts, you decide) the size of a peanut. And...most of them don't read books/novels. So, a bit far fetch I might say for the population of this side of the world. Nonetheless, a dream is only a dream...one cannot confuse with reality.

So when a guy approaches me on a certain blue-white, socializing network and starts to ask me out without even getting to know me first...I find it disappointing yet amusing. Hiding behind the virtual world? What folly is this?

This is definitely not the way to win a girl's heart.

I do give him credit for being brave enough to approach the virtual me, God knows guys only approach girls with vain, duck-faced profile pictures. But, would he have dared to approach the real me? Lol, most guys would not of course. I intimidate guys, I get that a lot. That's because most Malay guys are easy to scare. So if you're afraid of me or the things I can do, you certainly do not deserve me. Only the bravest shall succeed Ha Ha.

Anyway, so this guy befriended me and we started to chat. I don't know what gave him the impression that I was "oh-so interesting" he suddenly out of nowhere asked to have dinner with me. I was like, dude, we only chatted for a few minutes and you're already asking me out? Of course I turned him down, in a nice way...I hoped. The conversation got even more awkward towards the end. I just had to say good bye afterwards. Poor guy.

He's an architect by the way. I don't know why I seem to be attracting architects. Knowing this little information reminded me about a guy I used to date. He was great fun. Introduced me to alotta different places to eat. We shared mutual interests in sports, music and food. He was such a smart guy and I loved how well he could play the keyboard and he told me how he was attracted to my all-roundedness, sense of humour and...good intuition? Whatever that was. Another thing we shared? A bad temper. We fought as much as we had fun. So, in the end, we aren't even friends anymore. How sad, eyh? Owh well, some things are just not meant to be.

So, bottom-line is...guys think girls are complicated? Yes, we are :) And I applaud those who are able to figure us out coz even we don't know what it is we want most of the time.

.l e n a, over and out!.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

the thing they call trust

Dear Blog,




“Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don't have trust, the friendship will crumble." - Mikael Blomkvist


Here are my 2 cents about you. I respected you, and I trusted you. Now I realized, it was never mutual. I don't know what it is about me that appals you so. But know this, every relationship has it's geometry. Mine, was a very small circle. You were once in that circle. Now, refer to the map at the information centre coz I think you're lost. Look for "you're here!" on my map coz you're currently nowhere near the circle. In fact, you're so off-target I think I'm taking you off the grid completely.

The best part is, I'ma be a bitching hypocrite about it and be all nice to you still so no one will ever find out who you really are. Since you can do that to me, well, I guess...like the saying goes, "if you can't beat 'em...you join 'em". In this case however, I would really love to BEAT the crap out of you first, then I'd join you...bitch.

All i've ever been was nice to you. I guess that's not what people look for in "friends" anymore. Nope, nowadays, you gotta call each other "bitches", be so fake with all that "i miss you", "love you" and shit.

So, trust? friends? These are just stupid words that mean jack shit!

Family is what matters. Family is all I got then, now and forever. Kalau ada yang terasa tu, sorry...I could be talking about you...or...you actually did this to me for you to even think that I'm talking about you...perasan. Coz F all of you.

Gila lah. My whole friggin' life had been based on occasional, stupid, fruitless "friendships"...why did I think it would have been any different?

Some of you may think, "gila loner budak ni". So F-ing what? People come and go, I'll just make new "friends".

I hate people. I hate socializing. I hate dating.

I just wanna live in a world with my family and...cats! Coz, God, I love cats.

Pergi mampussssss!