the explanation

Dear Blog,

3 events occurred today that shot my self-esteem back to ZERO.

I won't elaborate more on that, but let's just say it's about my physical appearance.

3 times today, I got slapped in the face (figure of speech). Thanks to that person, that person and also that person. I am a sensitive person and to me, only family members and close friends are allowed to make those kinds of teguran.

All my life, I've been telling everyone that I hated school, be it primary or secondary. Don't get me wrong not all schools are bad. The Kindergarten and Elementary school in Canada was fun, but the school here stinks, frankly speaking. Well, maybe not the school itself but more to the people that make up the school. Teachers and students, hated all the same.

I know, such harsh words but that's how I feel and there's nothing in this world that can make me think otherwise.

So, what happened during those awful years at school that makes me feel sick to my stomach just listening to the word "school"?

Here are a few events that happened that I'm willing to share, and that I've never told anyone before:

• After having been schooled abroad, my dad was offered to become the Assistant General Manager at Telekom Malaysia so my family and I were stationed here when Leanna and I were in grade 2 (standard 2). The first school we tried out was Sri Kuala Lumpur (Sri KL), an international school near our grandparents' home. Turns out, we didn't qualify coz our Malay stank.
• The admissions exam was funny actually. They gave pictures and we had to name the thing or animal in Malay. I remember seeing a squirrel, but didn't know what it was called in Malay..so, I prolly failed that paper. So, my siblings and I didn't pass that test.
• We tried out another international school, MAZ International school. I hated that place too, coz the kids there were all rich, they looked down on people and they backstabbed everybody. I remember someone offering me a can drink, I accepted it and when I opened it the gas drink splashed everywhere on me. I heard snickerings around me. Turns out, they shook the can before giving it to me.
• Hated that place. Months later, Tok Wan introduced us to his friend, who happened to be the Principal (Headmaster, as you call it here) at SKSS17. So we got in that public school. It was OK initially, got friends and everyone was intrigued by these twin sisters from Canada. Later, 2 groups were fighting saying that we belonged to their groups and shit. They said we had to pick. We didn't know crap, so we chose one group since we were in the same class and all. Then, the other group started hating us and talking behind our backs. Shiiiit.
• Another event at that stupid school was this stupid teacher that I will forever hate. Her name was Pn. Juliana. I remember McD had that lunch promotion where a burger cost like a few cents and stuff so my dad always brought us there. That teacher and her husband always ate there too. It isn't in me to go up to a teacher and say "Hi!", I was only standard 2 at the time and I was shy. She and her husband took that personally saying my sister and I dissed them and was disrespectful for not saying hello.
• So, a week after that she scolded me in front of the whole class saying I was disrespectful to her and her husband at McD, and that she didn't wanna see my face there anymore (yeah, like she owns the place). I was shocked of course. Like, what the hell? The whole class was silent, prolly wondering what the hell was going on and shit. She was my science teacher. She made me hate science. After that, every little mistake I made I got scolded for. My writing was ugly then, my "K" looked like an "L" and "C" combined, and she scolded me for that too. There was once where my friend borrowed my book, and we had to pass it up the day after but my friend didn't come to school. So I had to stand in front of the class and I got slapped coz she thought I was giving excuses.
• Other events, Secondary school - SMKSS17. My batch, the girls were all the pretty and gedik people. Popular for their looks and skinniness and pandai layan lelaki-ness. So, they definitely made me feel ugly. Other than that, everytime my "friends", Leanna and I would go out...they would always stare at us UP and DOWN. Indicating that they thought we had bad taste in clothes. FYI, we're not as rich as you guys.

There are more, but, it's just too painful to relive again. Maybe in the near future eh?

The only best thing about school were SPORTS, BAND and CHEERLEADING. The boys in that school sucked too coz most of em were intimidated by my twin and I, for being an all-rounder. I am only grateful to have known my dearest friend Anip from that awful SMKSS17 school.

.now you know, l e n a.