What is a dream? How do we distinguish dreams from reality? Or could it be just reliving memories of the past?
Arwah Tok Mum had dreams and hallucinations? prior to her seizures.
The one that raises the hair on my nape would be the Arabian Visit.
A few days before Arwah was diagnosed to have seizures (which was lonnggggg overdue, thanks to that specific hospital's awesome patient management), I guess she had Delirium?
She barely recognized some of us, and she had behavioral change. She started saying things that are out of context, and she often stared at the ceiling. Or was she trying to tell us something? Maybe she saw something that cannot be seen by the naked eye?
I'm not really sure of the exact current of events coz I was still in UKM at the time. But, here's what I know:
Tok Mum was not in the acute cubicle yet for she was suspected of having Pneumonia and she seemed relatively fine. Mommy, Sarah and Nani (our cousin) left her bedside to go for buka puasa or something. They were gone for about 30min or so and when Sarah and Nani came back, Tok Mum was looking at the hallway window.
Sarah asked, "kenapa Tok Mum?".
Tok Mum replied, "tadi ada orang Arab datang."
Sarah : Orang Arab? (puzzled)
Tok Mum : A'ah. Dia tanya mana arah kiblat
Sarah : Takda orang Arab pun Tok Mum
Tok Mum : ada. Tadi dia datang sini, cerita-cerita. Dia tanya kiblat mana. Lepas tuh cerita pasal orang-orang melayu zaman sekarang and sekarang dah ramai sangat cina.
Sarah looked at Nani, and saw Nani turning her head to the back holding back tears. Sarah started to feel overwhelmed.
Tok Mum : Lepas tuh dia pesan, kita tak patut tengok orang pada kulit (Tok Mum explained with her left hand caressing her right arm), yang penting kita tengok hati orang tuh (Tok Mum patted her chest).
There's a story behind this advice given by the mysterious Arab man.
Arwah Tok Mum's uncle (Pak Ngah?) gave her the same exact advice to her when she was young. And for her to say it then at the hospital was very strange, especially after seeing that Arab man.
Mommy asked the nurse in charge whether there were any Arab men walking about or even coming to Arwah's room. They said they didn't see any, not that they know of of course.
When Sarah asked Nani why she cried just now, Nani said, "biasanya Umi kata, bila dah nak tiba masa, kita punya ancestors akan datang visit kita".
Could it be that the mysterious Arab man was one of our ancestors? Or was Tok Mum hallucinating?
After hearing this story, I cried. I just, didn't know what to say. And I told them to stop telling me the story. I guess I couldn't take it. I couldn't bear the thought of Tok Mum seeing things we didn't see, saying things we couldn't understand. Coz that was not Tok Mum. That was not the Tok Mum that I've known all my life.
A lot had happened during those few weeks in the hospital up to the day she passed. And most are, you could say, out of the norm. I hope that one day, I'll be able to share them with you. But, for now this is all that my thoughts are able deliver.
Leaving for Teluk Intan soon. I miss home already. l e n a.
No comments:
Post a Comment