An IV Dose of Reality

OK, so here's a bit more stuff about my pathetic life.

Yesterday, a few medical students and I went to Sg. Kg. Sentul, Pahang for an OPKIM pre-visit. It was a very interesting experience for me since I have never been to a kawasan kampung "kampung" before.

Let's start from the beginning. The night before, I went back to KJ. I had to wake up the next day at 6.30am in order to make it to KL on time. So I drove Baby K (the adorable, ugly, white-now-greyish Kelisa that both Sarah and I share.) at a speed of 140km/hr. (ever seen a toy car fly? that's how it felt like. Baby K and I were flying~) As a result, I arrived right on time at K1. Then, I rushed out of Baby K ran up the Blok A flight of stairs and went straight to my room. On the way to my room, I sempat call Anis lagi and asked "what am I supposed to wear??" Anis and Temoh gave me a few indications of what to wear and what not to wear to a kampung area. In the end, I just put on my awesome-ness nicole olive green pants with my very, VERY lime green of a t-shirt from HL (not the milk brand. It's one of those many courses I take at UKM that requires us to make an event and get t-shirts that you have to pay for yourself). I felt like a dope wearing that to a kawasan perkampungan, but I just had no idea whatsoever on what to wear that is within the dresscode of sopan-ness. So, I played it safe. heeee.

So I ran back to Baby K, "ignited" the car and drove off...FAST! After going through the K1 gate, (ignoring the looks of the security guards which of whom I feel, are very, VERY the sibuk wan) I saw a few friends of mine walking. They too were on their way to our faculty to wait for the bus for our trip to Pahang. I flicked my left indicator light on (courteous driver I am) and stopped at side of the road. I asked Ain Musa, Aisyah and Rai if they wanted to hitch a ride. (a.k.a tumpang) And so they did. I told them that I had to pick Anis up on the way. In the car, I promoted PCD'S new album Doll Domination to Aisyah. She's also a fan of their songs. So I told her which songs are nice. (meaning, ALL of their songs. This album, is THE BOMB i'm telling you!) Later, we arrived at K2 and picked Anis up and went straight to the faculty (fac for short)

We weren't late. But the bus driver was. So while waiting for our transportation, my friends and I visited our friendly neighbor, 7-Eleven. (7E for short) Bought ourselves some stuff to munch on for the trip. When we went back to the fac, everyone was there and waiting. (whatever, we were early anyway) Then, lift-off! The bus ride was slow, this is due to the heavy-ness of the vehicle itself and also the one-too-many stops we made on the way.

The kampung was nice. Tok Empat, (and me being the blurrest person there, often calls him Tok Janggut by mistake) greeted us with a warm welcome, which is to be expected by kampung people because they are all so very pleasant and polite. We went to a couple of houses here and there first for further discussions of our OPKIM event and later went to other houses for raya. (a lot of kuih raya and so very delicious.) Pictures are all in Anis's camera, so I'm sorry I can't show you. But, it was nice there. Hot too! We were all sweating like cray-see!

All this is nice of course, but referring to the title above, my point is to actually talk about the information I got on the bus ride before arriving to Sg. Kg. Sentul.

Let's start with the words, there's this guy I like. (jeng, jeng JENG!) Known him for about a year or so through the internet but met him once even before that. First impression was, this guy is really cute. Of course, one of the theories of Attraction : physical appearance. So, lama kelamaan, was added at FS. After exchanging a few occasional testimonials, he asked for my YM. Chatted there and got to know him better. A really likable, funny guy. (which comes to the next step of attraction : personality attraction) So I got hooked, and there was nothing I could do about it. We went out once. We watched Death Race at KLCC. He was so adorable the whole night.

He picked me up late from K1 and the night was raining and there was traffic jam. We planned on eating dinner prior to the movie date. But, scratch that. We were late for the movie. In the car, we got to talking about a lot of stuff. Which was weird because it isn't that easy for me to open up to with someone I barely know. This had me thinking there was chemistry. After parking the car, we went in the elevator and he suddenly realized he forgot our parking paying ticket. So he asked if it's ok if we went back to the car park. Of course I didn't mind. So we went back down and the whole way down he was like "Aiyo, camne bleh tertinggal" and "sory tau". The elevator was slow, so i told him I'll wait by and press the button as soon as I see him coming. So he ran like the wind with all limbs flying, again so very adorable.

While brisk walking to the cinema, he asked me what I wanted to smuggle into the cinema. This got me hooked even more because I do this all the time with my family. He offered himself to run to either McD or 1901 and get me hotdogs. It was adorable still. But I told him it's ok, we'll get something over the counter at TGV. He still insisted though. I just shooked my head to say no. So he ordered us popcorn, gas drink for me mineral water for him (he has some sort of tonsil problem since his childhood. Can I say congenital?) and an egg sandwich for me because he said he knows I'll be hungry. How thoughtful. I wanted to order for myself, but while I was reading the menu on the board, he ordered for both of us.(I could've done it myself though, but thanks anyway) In our cinema, he gave me the more "contained" seat and him the outer seat. (When I told my friends this, they all told me that he really is the perfect gentleman)

I couldn't really concentrate on watching the movie with him by my side, but I forced myself to. It would've been a waste of good money (LOL!) In the midst of the movie, he whispered saying he wanted to go to the loo. I rarely go out on dates, so I thought that this was really nice of him to inform me of his "going to the loo". But, maybe this is rather common right? Of course you have to tell your date otherwise she or he might think you're running off somewhere. So he went and came back. (May I add that he smelled really nice. His scent went through my nostrils and to my brain when he took his seat. I know, i'm crazy) He held my sandwich for me, so when I was finished with my popcorn he asked if I still wanted the sandwich. I couldn't refuse, eventhough I wasn't really hungry anymore. So I ate it. He asked if it was sedap, and I said it was OK and offered him some but he politely said no.

After the movie, it was like 11pm ++ so we walked briskly again, this time to the carpark. At the paying machine, it didn't want to accept his 50sen coins. I wanted to get one from my purse, but I didn't because watching him struggling was kinda funny, and cute. I know, how mean was I? But everytime the machine rejected the coins, I helped picked it up and gave it to him. After struggling a few times, we succeeded. We talked some more about anything. From cameras to computers, education to family. On the way back he asked me if we could grab some McD. One, because he was hungry. Two, because he thought I was hungry. He asked if I wanted to stay in the car or go with him. I told him I'll stay in the car. (Just in case other cars were going out and we're blocking their way because we double-parked. I didn't tell him this. I hope he doesn't think me a princess that wants him to be a kuli and get my stuff while I only wait)

He walked quickly to McD and suddenly ran back to the car while I locked the doors pointing to the lock indicating me to lock it. I showed him thumbs up coz I did already and laughed because he looked cute at the window smiling. KL is a very dangerous place, so it is always important to LOCK!

When we arrived at the front gate of K1, he asked if we could get in. I said, no because it's past 10pm and the gate won't open for visitors. We arrived a few minutes before 12am, good thing. I wanted to talk more with him, but decided not to because i'm afraid what the security guys might think, afraid if the gates won't open later, and afraid that I won't be able to finish my PBL that's due the next day. So, in conclusion the night ended with just a short thanks and goodbye. He waited until I walked a few meters away until he reversed his car and zoomed off.

When I got back to my room, went to the washroom, came back and received a message from him. He said sorry for being late and not be able to have dinner with me. We messaged until I finally told him I had to do my PBL. So, I told him we should do it again next time. He said "InsyaAllah".

Days after that, rarely heard from him. He doesn't text me, we just chat on YM. That tells me, he didn't feel the same way. It's ok. I understand why. Why would a guy like that like me?

Back to the Bus story. I sat next to Anis, she told me something that sort of explains a lot. This guy's friend is my friend's boyfriend. So he told the boyfriend his family history. I don't think I should say it here. It's sorta confidential. But all in all, I know now there's an explanation to why I feel distance in him. It breaks my heart deeply knowing this snippit of his life and knowing that there will never be anything between us. Hope has gone out the window. My heart, may open partially from now on. I just ask of this favor from myself. To let him know how I feel about him and just that. For me, being his friend is as good as being with him.

So, reality does not stink or suck, it bites. The bite wound will heal, in time. But for now, let me ponder as to what my heart will want and feel.